Still Angry About It

 Today I went for a walk on a rail trail with two other friends. I had my two young daughters who had escaped their double stroller and were wandering wide, and one friend had another stroller. We had left a hole for people to get through, but we were a complicated group, to be sure. One man, jogging toward us, remarked with a smile, "You all are taking up too much of the trail!" With a smile he said it. 

The moment he had passed us, I raised my middle finger while staring straight ahead. It was cheap and rude of me, and I wondered for the next four hours including now how I have not grown out of that urge to put some passerby in their place? In the following minutes, I understood better his... plight... and was more sympathetic. 

But I also still feel this: don't talk to me. I have a lot going on and am doing my best and don't need one. single. comment. more. about how children (any children!) are in the way. Furthermore, are you a White Male Boomer jogging alone on this trail and you experienced some inconvenience? Please make sure you tell me about it immediately. Here are some cinquains about how angry I feel.

Raising Children
It's you.
In the morning,
All day and at meal times,
I carry your weight, and at night.
It's me.

Fuck Off
For real.
You who do not
Have little interrupters
Denying even a bathroom break
Just go.

Potty Time
Just go.
What do you need?
If you need it, then go.
Why make everyone miserable?
Rest room.

Are you shocked at me? My friends were. And I too was shocked that I did that--showed publicly and in front of children one of the rudest gestures I know, and to a stranger who did almost nothing to me. I'm ready for a civil conversation now. I feel sorry for how I acted. And I still feel angry. What does it mean, that this is such a hot button for me?