Nightmare

I had a nightmare on Saturday night. It was about our wedding this coming weekend. (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S THIS WEEKEND!?!)

Everyone was seated around their tables at the reception that was taking place in a gymnasium that somehow resembled the throne room of the Red Keep. And it was entirely silent, because literally everyone was on their phones, scrolling and being bored. When some time had elapsed, I slid my legs from the armrest of my chair in a casual manner, and expressed to my new husband (Still Jake. I guess even my imagination has limits as to whom I can fictionally marry.) "I guess we can go now, right?" So we left the throne room gym full of guests not having fun and not interacting at all. It was terrible.

Wedding Weekend in Albany

A good friend, one of the group that laughs, got married a few weeks ago. It was one of the loveliest times of my life. I'll tell you why. Think of each paragraph as part of a list.

The party began while I was still at my day job in Pennsylvania. The crowd gathered at the airport to welcome Erin, and her carry-on backpack. [Listen, she's a professional, okay? She knows how to pack all the things. And she brought this one backpack and in it were her bridesmaid dress, her sweet shoes, a change of clothes, pajamas, toiletries, hair-doing supplies, make-up-doing supplies, and two gifts. You. Don't. Even. Know.] When she arrived, everyone screamed and hugged and giggled (except for, possibly, Sam and Rich... but I don't know, I wasn't actually there), and Ashley cried out, "What do you have there, Erin? A big bag of wrinkles!?" BAhaha!

When Sheri arrived, by contrast, she brought her entire bed from her bedroom! It's not only possible, but true, because she sleeps in a hammock that has a free-standing frame, and she is the coolest person known to Syracuse and beyond.

One of the best parts of being with these young women is hearing the stories. We sat enthralled Friday afternoon as Erin told us an incredible story about her and... a person... You'll see it published one day, and sold in the No-Freakin'-Way-Is-This-For-Real? section in Barnes and Noble. 

At the rehearsal, we realized that the groomsmen were all at least 10 inches taller than all the bridesmaids. We also realized that we had no pockets in which to keep the song lyrics, and were therefore compelled to practice the music together. We huddled around the lyrics and harmonized between processional and recessional.

Friday night, we were tasked with decorating 120 cupcakes with purple icing and sprinkles. Ashley made the icing, and the kitchen probably still has small purple evidences thereof, I know my shoes still do. But the sprinkles were especially interesting. As the icing hardened, we found that sprinkles weren't sticking... until Sheri started to throw them aggressively at the lovely purple cupcakes! 26 seconds later, opalescent sprinkles were flying all over the room, and they will also probably stay in dining room crannies for as long as the house itself stands. 

The puns and the laughing. 

Christine married a wonderful guy on Saturday. 

We packed up the reception site with many hands. My car and Sam's truck were full of wedding paraphernalia. Sam and I even had the privilege of packing up Christine's wedding dress. It went like this:
Sam: I don't understand why girls even save these!
Me: Because, it's special! [aggressively adjusts the hanger and bodice thereon]
Sam: But look, the bottom's dirty, and it's never gonna be worn again. [gingerly gathers the bottom of the dress, and places it in a bag, to avoid further damage]

After packing and hauling all the presents to the house, and finally backing my car into the driveway during a moment in which my hands refused to cooperate due to laughter, things got more serious. Christine and Rich were off on a new adventure, and we were four of us, glad for a few moments of being together and doing nothing. We had just started a too-complicated game when a friend in crisis contacted Sheri. We stopped playing the game. We began to pray and sing. Listen, you know you're friends when you can transition into worship from a game of "Bang."

I've been writing this post for a month, and I don't even have time to tell you about the lack of GPS, and the smiling, and the twinkle lights in the barn, and the wheelchair, and the couches, and the kissing, and the Shulan-spilling-rum moment, and the game of ninja at the reception, and the speeches, and the gorgeous hair, and the loud laughing, and the praying, and the eating, and the trees, and the not-apple-cider doughnuts, and the staying up late to talk, and did I mention that time we started playing Bang, and ended up worshiping God in song? Praise the Lord. It was like that, you know? Praise the Lord forever.

"Guess the Impulse Buy": A Fun, New Game

I made a special trip to the store tonight, folks, and I bought the following:

• Gatorade
• Fantastic yellow nail polish
• Chocolate
• Antiperspirant (you know, with aluminum)

Which was not on the original list? Probably 1/3 of you guessed it (because, let's face it, chocolate is ALWAYS on the list): Gatorade.

I won't explain the nail polish. So, regarding the deodorant, I've been trying to take two steps to prevent breast cancer (and only two steps, 'cause, well, let's not get crazy): use deodorant without aluminum, and use BPA-free bottles. But tonight I needed deodorant with aluminum in it, because tomorrow I'm helping with a wedding. There's pressure to look and smell good, despite lifting chairs and rolling tables, and keeping calm when the electricity goes out. So, here's to making an exception!

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More on bottles: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090326100714.htm
I'm not providing you any links on the aluminum thing. The studies are generally inconclusive, like, not enough to take aluminum antiperspirant off the market, but conclusive enough for us to stop buying it.

In Defense of Poetry and Weddings

A man (or woman, for that matter) would never compose an essay to tell his beloved of his affection. Or perhaps some would. But it's my sense that many have tried to write an essay on such a subject, and it has merely resulted in poetry. Poetry has arisen out of a desire to say something, just so, when it really matters, without saying any more than is absolutely necessary. As evidence of the poetic economy of words, I present E. Barrett Browning's “Sonnet of the Portuguese XLIII”: "How do I love thee?/ Let me count the ways. / I love thee to the depth and breadth and height / My soul can reach [...]."  She would not have, could not have better displayed her deepest sentiments in an essay; these thoughts are so laden with emotion that they cannot be researched, and cannot be taught, but are worth relating nonetheless!

Artist Ibiyinka Alao believes that “art is frozen music.” He often writes a poem alongside his artwork: something that could be set to music, or that carries a rhythm of its own, to give another dimension to his work. All people know volumes untold of what good poetry is, because all socialized people have a thousand songs stored in their memories. Music and poetry overlap, intertwine, and become inseparable. But no one suggests that music is clichéd, only that there is good music and bad music, according to taste. And so it is with poetry.

I begin to sound redundant when I say that weddings have also arisen out of the very best parts of humanity, out of the peak of civilization. One may ask what is the point of a ceremony at all? One sociologist explains that "[r]ites of passage often reinforce religious principles for the individuals taking part in them and for the community members witnessing them" (Esposito). He goes on to claim that “[r]ites of passage provide members of a community with an opportunity to reflect on the meaning and purpose of life” (Esposito). Attending a wedding is a physical reminder of life’s transience and beauty.

Every civilization I have ever heard of has some sort of ceremony to unite two people, a universal acknowledgement of  union. Despite such thin evidence as that, it is clear to me that the union derives significance from this acknowledgement. Even cursory attendance at a wedding is very meaningful to the bride and groom. Who but their community of friends and family should bear witness to and affirm, thereby validating, their commitment to each other? Showing up to a wedding is saying that you have witnessed this pledge, and you'll do your own part to ensure its continuation. Though the ceremony itself differs across the globe, the one thing that remains the same is the need for witnesses, the communal aspect of a wedding.

Having said this, why make long trips or go to great inconvenience to attend weddings, when it is possible to visit with the friend(s) at a time and place when both can benefit more directly from the interaction? Firstly, visiting is quite different from witnessing. One goes with different expectations, but both interactions have a value all their own.

The stipulation of geography is notable, however, in that it begs the question of whether the bride/groom are indeed a part of my community. Secondly, then, I might travel across half the country for a family member’s wedding, for the couple will always be part of one’s community, being united by blood and law, as it were. But traveling so far for a friend is a different bag of pretzels entirely. If the friend is bound to remain in that location for an indefinite period of time, it is more possible that he or she will fade from my community, making my attendance at said wedding less important, indeed, little more than sentimental.

Works Cited

Alao, Ibiyinka. “The Music Party.” Visions of True Colors: of Art, Infinity, Eternity and our Hearts. n.d. Web. 4 Dec. 2012.

Barrett Browning, Elizabeth. “Sonnets from the Portuguese XLIII.” Cummings Study Guide. 2005.

Ed. Michael J. Cummings. Web. 1 Dec. 2012.

Esposito, John L.. "Rites and Rituals." The Islamic World: Past and Present. Dec. 1 2004: n.p.

SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 02 Dec 2012.

A Rather Dull Update

Minimal pizazz, and certainly nothing in the way of bells or whistles.

My birthday was a series of three days this year! Monday, Mom, Chelsea, and Michelle visited me, bringing the long-in-the-way cedar chest. I suppose it is time it passed on to the next McKalips lady. We went to Macaroni Grill where Chelsea played entertainer by questioning the waitress in the least mundane terms. August 11th dawned sultry and... well, I'm not sure. I slept in and went to work for the whole day. Becky found me at work and delivered a bouquet of picked flowers which still sit in the dining room, cheering the world. In the evening, Lachelle, Adriane, Joella, Angela and I went to the Dispensing Company for my first public drink! A white Zinfindel--as girly and flowery as they come, so I'm told.

On Wednesday, Joella and I used the gift that Lachelle and Brian had given us as thank you's for helping with the wedding: an hour-long massage at the Lancaster School of Massage. Oh my. Praise the Lord. Just thinking about it straightens my posture and helps me to breathe more easily. In the evening, Kelly and Sladana came to celebrate with me. We met BJ and Brian at Quips where I ordered the hot wings (on a five-heat scale: mild, medium, hot, ____, hari kari). It turns out the hot wings are extraordinarily hot. It is BJ's custom to order a half dozen hari kari wings for the purposes of torture to all newcomers. I was compelled to eat one. The burning began as I finished it. Then it moved through my whole body. My lips swelled up. My eyes teared uncontrollably. The nail beds under my fingernails that had touched the cursed sauce hurt until the following morning. My stomach was in ruins on Thursday. But all this and, more, all of you, have made my 21st birthday the best one so far! Thank you!

Tomorrow, Tim, Adriane, and their son Elisha and I are headed to Ohio to attend Kara's wedding on Sunday. This will be the first time that my team from Honduras will have been together since we left Harrisburg in 2007! Then, Tuesday of next week, I'll be headed to Mexico with my friends' children. I'll be there until August 30th, and consequently unreachable by phone. But I'll find a computer.

Weddings are Exciting

Right now Lachelle and Brian are sitting in the middle of the living room surrounded by table placements and little nametags. Both of them are talking with their respective mothers on their mobiles, discussing guest placement.

Brian: "I thought about putting J___ in that table.... well no, because he lived in Bolivia..."
Lachelle: "If I had known M___ beforehand I would have put her next to T_____..."
Brian:"Do we need an extra spot for them? What if they bring their kids? Do they have two kids?"
Lachelle:"I was going to put Aunt G____ with R____, but she won't be with family, then. Wait 'til I tell you about my week..."

If you can, imagine it all simulataneously taking place.

To my right are lots and lots of boxes and things without boxes, waiting patiently in the queue to be moved across Lancaster to their new home. The mountain grows. Lachelle's to-do list grows, and can be found in small segments in any room of the house. One on this table reads:

--Ask Mom
--Cheese
--Song
--Ages of Kids

Haha! If there was ever any doubt, I have a pretty cool life, with pretty cool people in it.