We're Going to the Beach

and we're going to bring:

an Apple

a Bag for the apples

a Carabiner

a Dog

Extra oil

a Fart("uh... I mean... a Frisbee")

a Great blue heron

Hummus

an Ibis ("to keep the heron company")

Jokes

a Kite ("Not the bird!")

a Loser

M&M's ("oh! oh! Or MadLibs!")

Nectarines

Oreos

Peaches

Quilting Needles

Rum!

Strawberries

a Tacklebox ("We're done here, aren't we?" "Yes." "Oh, definitely.")

I'm compiling games to bring along to camp. This is one of them. I'm tempted to be the mean counselor who brings a verbal riddle, like the elephant game. I still hate the elephant game.

Notebook Exploration

These are from fall of 2007, my one semester at Houghton College.

I found this haiku in the front of my notebook for advanced composition with Dr. Susan Bruxvoort Lipscomb:

If at first you

Can't count to five syllables,

You're probably me.

I found this letter to God in the back of my notebook for English literature survey with Dr. Wardwell. That was the best class I have ever taken. During finals, I was pacing the lengths of the bookshelves memorizing slices of poetry and their authors. When I wrote this letter, I had just taken a long look at Gulliver's Travels and was about to move on to The Rape of the Lock. But my mind stopped. So I began:

I want to tell You all about it by a shimmering stream, beneath a cerulean sky. But I have a light brown study carrel with a light that hums next to a window and a heater. And I have a very serious amount of studying to do for my final in two days. But, God, I'm just so SO--! I want to tell You under a starry sky, with the world beneath You and I together. We'd watch each star as it watched us, and You'd tell me a secret and I would make You laugh.

But I have a hundred (or two dozen) goodbyes to make. And who knows for how long it will be? One year? This lifetime? All eternity? Jesus only You could know... I'm just so--! So mad and clueless, expectant and helpless. So scared and tired, excited and weary. And not busy. Like I should be.

Even though I walk the shores, all the mountains, town after town, one city, then another, even though I see Your creation right beside all that of man, I will always listen for Your voice. It always calls me here. To begin again at the beginning, while I'm in the middle of everything busy, getting ready to make a change. I'll start with You. And I'll end with You.

Reality

is boxes lining my left wall. Time for moving.

I will be spending this summer at Black Rock Retreat as a senior counselor. The first time I saw the place was the day of the interview. As I described it to the camp director, it was my "last-ditch effort at being obedient." I would be glad to see you if you decide to retreat there this summer!

Things I Learned

today:

1. Mulan was a real person

2. I am tired of writing.

3. I may get to be a camp counselor at Black Rock Retreat this summer...

Seagull Staredown

I ride the bus.
Lately I've noticed the seagulls at the shopping center.
They are a flock!
All at once they rise as the bus passes by,

to the right near the guitar store.
They are a ruckus.
They settle on the other side of the central parking lot.
Here we come--the bus monster!
They are mad, fat beach pigeons.
As we pass by the grocery, one stares at us: eyes wide, beak working.
He curses us in seagull.

You Want to Play Cranium With Me?

I can spell "delicious" backwards, I do a mean Eddie Murphy impression, and I can draw a toilet with my eyes closed.

Weekend Ends

Church last Sunday was especially wonderful. Jewel Showalter spoke and she tells the most engaging stories! BJ and I met up with Steve and Meg outside my house where Joella was in the midst of her home church luncheon. They welcomed our entrance to their party; but our mutual space and discreet goals complicated our desire to eat lunch and leave for Denver quickly. The four of us hurried off to Chestnut Hill Cafe and sat freezing outside in the sunlight of the blustery day. That place gets crowded of a Sunday afternoon!

We talked about city vs. country life. (Interesting, a similar topic occupied the conversation of many Arcadian writers and romantic poets.) Stephen believes firmly that Burnham, Pennsylvania, specifically the "Burnham Riviera," is the best town the world has to offer. So why, I wonder, does he seek a life in the navy? Possibly, home is most dear when we gaze at it from a distance.

We traveled to Denver, (close to Ephrata, non-locals) to attend our Uncle and Aunt's open house. Four birthdays (ages 20, 40, 50, 52...?), Abby home on leave, and a beautiful April are more than enough reason to celebrate with the Buckles family. Steve and Meg were fawned over for several reasons: our family is not accustomed to being in the same room with one another, they are having a baby (a BOY, in SEPTEMBER!), and they are just so good-looking.

Abby is radiant, despite days and nights spent training in a submarine. Nicole is a wonder-person--anyone will feel comfortable in her presence, what a gift! Mom came, dressed in magenta. Grandma and Grandpa came, full of new experience. Their hearts go so deep now, I wonder if I will ever know them. Uncle Ralph showed all the newcomers to the food table, happy enough to direct the friendly chaos. Aunt Lisa held a little baby most of the time, flitting about through hall, living rooms, and porch, the kitchen her constant center.

Camera flashes and goodbyes later, Mom and I returned to Lancaster. She settled into a "nap" while I drove to a frisbee game. Loss, 8-5. We had a Bob Evans breakfast in the morning, but my mind was already turning to my English Portfolios.

No time, no time to reflect. The garden winds that remade me, the family that I treasure, the breathless motion of springtime... little by little I remember to live. Two weeks until the end of junior year.