Time for a Survey

Name one thing you worry about running out of. Patience.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Always.

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? No one should be that special that they can defy the laws of gravity.

How do you flush the toilet in public? I don't understand the question.

Do you have a crush on someone? I don't think so. No. I don't. Thanks for asking. That's all cleared up.

What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? Reese Witherspoon's face, and only sometimes. I've also gotten DJ from Full House. And once Topanga from Boy Meets World.

What is your favorite pizza topping? Sauce.

Do you crack your knuckles? No.

What song do you hate the most? I don't want to think about that question.

Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? Ha! There ya go.

What are your super powers? Making faces, counting letters, spelling.

Peppermint or spearmint? Peppermint.

Where are your car keys? Keyrack.

Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear? Anyone's! I love reading these more than I like to do them!

What's your most annoying habit? Talking. Or leaving my laundry in the basement. Or double-booking. I have a lot.

Where did you last go on vacation? North Carolina. I am still cold.

What is your best physical feature? My ears or my feet, who can choose!?

What CD is closest to you right now? "Winter," by Jon Foreman

What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator? Fish sauce, because no one eats it. A can of vanilla pepsi, because no one likes soda. And cream cheese, because we rarely eat that. Everything else comes and goes; these just stay forever.

What superstition do you believe/practice? When I become aware of believing a superstition, I try to stop immediately.

What color are your bed sheets? White and blue.

Would you rather be a fish or a bird? A bird.

Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive? On occasion, it's true.

What are your favorite sayings? I'll answer this elsewhere.

What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower? "When You Believe," from Prince of Egypt, and "Tu has venido a la Orilla."

If you could go back or forward in time,where would you go? I prefer moving forward in time only, at the speed of 60 seconds per minute.

What is your favorite Harrison Ford movie? Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.

What CD is in your stereo? "Winter," by Jon Foreman... seriously.

What CD will be in your stereo in a few minutes? I'm not listening to it. So it will still be there.

How many kids do you plan on having? Maybe lots. Maybe none. Unless this is a spiritual question.

If you could kiss anyone who would it be? Just my husband, please.

What do you do when no one is watching? Mostly the same stuff, only more gracefully.

If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be you? Will Smith. ! I have no idea. But I like this question.

Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep? I'll take the blaze of glory.

Coffee or Tea? Coffee, one cream, no sugar.

Favorite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert? Newsboys, back when their giftings and my taste coincided more.

Have you ever been in love? Yessir.

Do you talk to yourself? Sometimes. But mostly I direct those mental wanderings to the Lord.

A Deli Tale: Birthday Candles

Tonight a group of high school students were studying for an IB exam for a few hours at the deli. Their teacher dismissed them to get food and come back after an hour of study, at which point I was bombarded with "zillions" of orders for french fries and brownies. One boy was especially excited about receiving the brownie, "Do you have any birthday candles back there?"
"Birthday--no. No, we don't have candles at all."
"What about a match?"
"Hey guys, do we have any matches?" I asked the cooks, who only gave me puzzled looks and a tentative "no?".
"Sorry, no matches either."
"What about a stick?" he asked, clearly desperate now. I thought about our assortment of utensils and brought out the party toothpicks.
"Do you want the red top or the blue top?"
"Red," he responded, "it looks more like a flame."
"Well anyone would be honored to have such a birthday brownie, I'm sure."

For 1am there sure seems to be a lot to think about

I have to remember that this time last year I hadn't even begun to work at McDonald's yet. And McDonald's consitutes an entire lifetime. So, I have lived more than an entire lifetime since last year. But I get impatient. And I begin to involuntarily grind my molars as I think about where I will live. Will we get a roommate in time to renew the lease? Will I still be able to get transportation from wherever I live to school? To work? I am waiting for the next step with impatience. Somehow this space looks an awful lot like the drawing board.

Easter Sunday

Voices awaken me. Whispered words in the dark blue dawn. Or is it still night? I strain to hear.

Easter morning, 2009. Micah Berthold had died just three days before. My new pastor and his wife were struggling to bear the weight of this burden. Struggling to know what their good and gracious Lord would do with them now, so broken.

One man's whisper, just audible, "empty," he says. The horizon is just visible, the grass still does not shutter, thick with paralyzing dew.

We brought our praise to the Lord, offering him our thoughts, even our vicarious grief. We thought of sin and love's sacrifice. And we sang through throats choking on sobs.

I raise my head, still bleary from confusion and crying that had taken up the days since His death. No comfort came in sleep, just a place to lay the profound heaviness. We had entrusted all our hopes to Him. The loss we felt was more than that of a friend, or even a brother. We had lost the one who held the sky.

How did Pastor Josef do it? I don't know how he and Brenda bore greeting so many people. They remembered. I don't remember the song we were singing when one man said what we were thinking, "We love you, Josef."
"We love you, too, Bill," responded Josef as he and Brenda held one another's hands. Weight. Glory. Grief and pain were weight in our hearts. And God's glory was turning that weight into something somehow more precious than breathing.

More than one person now is talking, word is spreading. Something has changed, "Empty," "With their own eyes!" "She thought He was a gardener at first." Dawn is full blown day, and the word escapes every person's lips with more emotion and incredulous hope than I can bear, "ALIVE..."

"We shall not die," goes the song. And we sing it. And we believe it. Soul-cracked glory, the weight of the sky presses in. And we still believe it: we are ALIVE because He is also.

The moment when all fear is enveloped in hope--when you finally know you have seen the worst of it--it begs pause. And then, knowing, believing, seeing the promises of life unfold in the presence of my Lord, whose face I had despaired of ever seeing again--the soul leaps to joy.