To Bless

I hope this verse speaks to your heart. It sure speaks to mine.

"Be merciful to me, O God, for men hotly pursue me." Psalm 56:1a

Fiddler on the Roof

Don't ask me when I get time to watch whole movies. But this one deserves to be a priority. Here are the things I like about Tevye.

I love the way Tevye speaks with God right out loud, in conversation.

Upon hearing of their eviction, one man says they should fight back, "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!" And Tevye, though he is a man of the Good Book responds with, "very good, then the whole world will be blind and toothless."

As the town reconciles itself to leaving Anatevka, a townsman says that the Jews have been uprooted many times in history. Tevye says, "perhaps that's why we always wear our hats!"

At the very final moment, the enigmatic fiddler follows Tevye and his wife and their two remaining daughters. Tevye stops, puzzled to find the fiddler still there amidst their muddy grief. Surely they carry all the heaviness, regret, and insecurity of any displaced people. The fiddler looks back, as if to ask permission to follow after them. And Tevye nods. He has not done with life yet. He will not give up. The fiddler may follow.

At the outset, Tevye tells us that their fragile lives are balanced on tradition just like the fiddler is balanced on the rooftop. But Tevye shows throughout the movie that his life is not just balanced on tradition. His life is also balanced with humor, love, patience, kindness, an appreciation for life (l'chaim!), and faith in God.

Thinking About Church Membership

I don't think I get it. Insofar as church must handle sums of money and decide what to do with it, I understand having official members. But what makes me a member? Is it attending a class and standing in front of a group and saying out loud that I am one of them? It seems to me the very moment someone quantifies this answer, the Holy Spirit has moved beyond it.

How do I recognize a church member? I want to equate "church member" exactly with "Christ-follower". Why would these ever be separated? I recognize Christ-followers most when they're interacting with one another, praying or singing or serving someone in need. I can recognize a Christ-follower when he/she is accountable to a group, under someone's authority, patient in affliction, joyful in hope... In order to be continuous and consistent in our lives, I think believers must live accountably as part of a church. I advocate that we continue to meet together, and all the more, as we see the Day approaching! But I am more than a little confused as to qualifications for church membership. What is more, official church membership seems superfluous after having been baptized into Christ's body.

I suspect that membership in a particular part of the body of Christ (a local church) is really recognizable by relationships. But I feel I am treading on ground too high for me when I think about the Church.

I asked my housemates about official church membership. Joella's response: "The devil is in the details."

Lupita Mañana, by Patricia Beatty

I'm reading an especially difficult book right now for a class on teaching literature to young adults, Lupita Mañana by Patricia Beatty. It is written in English, and Beatty is not of Hispanic descent, although she lived most of her life in California. The book is written for young adults. But it leaves an ache in me.

A brother and sister are forced to travel northward from the Baja peninsula into the United States. They are taken advantage of at nearly every turn, and the only thing that saves them from falling completely into the hands of robbers, liars, and killers is an amount of common sense. These children are not extraordinary in any way. They have no special intuitive powers, no special intelligence, no special savings account waiting for them. They are folks. Just folks. And I sympathize with them something awful! I am stunned by the reality of their situation. I am sure I've read half of this book with my mouth agape.

A Place to Match

Grace sits at a clean window. She has time to pray as she knits
blue, green, purple together.

Carla bellows to the boys to keep it down, and sighs
cream, lavender, cream, lavender crochet.

Lilly has her papers before her, memorizes the next week's case studies
bright orange, light orange, bright orange, light orange.

Rhoda sits up in bed this week, finally able to contemplate her dying sister
royal blue straight through.

Kim adds white rows between each woman's strand, yarn to tie life to life.
And they give the blanket to Hazel, who feels gentle hands, soft threads.
Hazel is blind now, but she sees Grace at a window. Carla with her three sons. Lilly at a work desk. Rhoda in a sickbed. Kim in a rocking chair.

And they all dance with Hazel as she sits back finally, wrapped in precious, quiet actions which pass through time.

As the family divides her treasures one month later, the blanket does not match any room of any house. It comes to rest in the mismatched house on Pine Street, on a used couch and an armchair worn out by other owners. The blanket wraps anyone who wants it, anyone who will consent to be blind for a moment. And it warms neatly to tense shoulders; hands holding hot tea and books, in a cold room.

Of All the Times When I Ignore my Homework...

this weekend proved to be the most worthwhile substitution! Friday after Biology, I started for Houghton College, arriving in the evening, just in time for a lovely barbecue party. Friday evening was general outbursts of joy (especially from me!) at just being in the same room as my good friends. I've longed for them all fervently, and my cup is overflowing!

Christine, Sheri, Shulan, Ashley, Erin, Bethany, Lydia.

Saturday was a mixture of meetings with friends, most notably the surprise party at Bethany's townhouse which I almost missed, negligently planning a low-key, on-the-fly trip to Letchworth park. It didn't pan out to go to Letchworth due to some lucky eggs... but so much the better! (Thanks go to Kevin here!) I walked in to Bethany's living room to find most of my friends from freshmen year seated about, shouting "surprise!"! This is the very kind of moment we all dream about! (Thanks go to EVERYONE here!) Drs. Woolsey and Mills-Woolsey were even able to come and we discussed some interesting ideas for developing the London program.

Liesl, Ben, Eric, Kristen, Megan, Megan, Kristina, Lydia.

Following the party, Bethany, Ashley and I went to Letchworth. We even brought along books, with the mistaken idea that we would sit quietly on a sunlit patch of grass and wait for the sunset to tell us to leave. But it was waaay cold. So we walked around, talked about the future, the past, the present, and made for the car when we couldn't feel our arms anymore. Also Saturday: Chinese, bonfire, s'mores, dancing, laughter.

Brett, Ren, Debbie, Cecily, Sally, Olivia, Rachel, Rachel, Laura, Sarah, Emily.

Sunday was even colder. We went to the Salvation Army church in Wellsville. That was made especially memorable by the two new[born] members of the church: Graham and Chayse.

Pam, Hillary, Matt, Keith, Keith, Erica, Katrina, Laura, Susanna.

On Monday, I attended Dr. Woolsey's literature class called "Fantastic Truths" in which they pull foundational truths out of fantasy literature. Monday was The Fellowship of the Ring. Wow! So many students participated in the discussion--and not simply at a rudimentary level, but insightfully, I daresay prophetically! Monday I also met up with Eric, Olivia, Zan, Dara, Sheri, and several other people. It was a full day. In the evening I attended the lecture given by Stanley Hauerwas. I will devote time to describing that lecture at some other point.

Dara, Maddie, Ashley, Kristina, Amanda, Amy, Connie, Mark, Sophie.

These lists of happenings are not terribly interesting for someone not in the know of how influential each of the names mentioned has been in my life. My aim in acknowledging them here and now is to somehow not forget that we can come back together as if time and space had not separated us very far. We have already done it once.

First, Second, and Third Languages

I just finished an English "lesson" with Yazmin. We had a wonderful conversation, explaining "was," "would," contractions, the third person singular, and the varied cultural treatment of language learners. We agreed that many people in the U.S. seem to believe English to be the language that God speaks. For that reason they may become impatient with those learning English--and this often without thinking about why they are impatient. Their mindset is different. They will give up on the conversation more easily, deciding that it is not worth the embarrassment for both parties to keep trying.

We agreed that the same puzzlement exists, for example, in Mexico, where people may also expect their conversational partners to speak perfectly. But instead of impatience with the learner, the native speaker in Mexico will usually exhibit curiosity at the learner, thereby aiding the conversational transaction.

I see more and more that a dignified and determined attitude toward language learners is most likely to instill confidence in speaking. I think the main impediment to language learning is fear of making mistakes and sounding stupid. Learning is first admitting that we don't know something; and secondly forming that knowledge, usually by experience. The implications for this are as follows: we shall make mistakes. Praise the Lord. What better way to remain humble than to be continually frustrated in our attempts to communicate even a basic idea?

I have a wonderful example of humility. On our way to Tapatios on Sunday, Kevin was explaining to Yazmin, Kiko, and Moises his understanding of American Sign Language. He has had two years of college Spanish, but he still lacks some confidence, and it had been some time, he said, since he had practiced. He was explaining his second language in his third language! A few times he looked to me for help, using a sign and a questioning face, as if to say, "how do I say {insert sign} in Spanish?"

How do I tell you? You had to be there to laugh with us--to know with us that we don't know. I remember those moments with a new affection, a renewed vigor to go and do what seems at first to be uncomfortable, and therefore unnecessary. Perhaps that is what makes the reward so great.