Casablanca Garden

The garden sits vacant all during the sunny parts of the day, save a pair of little, roaming turtles. I get home from work, and stop in to smell the roses quite often, but then I repair to my house, hungry, sleepy, needy for I don't know what.

The garden deserves so much better. The gardener and the landlady keep it in perfect condition. It's a trophy wife, always perfectly dressed; on the shelf.

Singer/Soldier

Today in church, the worship leader led some new anthem. It was beautiful, declaring our newness in Christ, our deaths to our old lives. The rest of the worship team followed the leader like a well-trained platoon. That's what our worship team often reminds me of: an army. 

Perhaps it's strange to think of singers as being equal to trained soldiers. Soldiers are so tough and so cool. Singers so often earn their keep by ingratiating and entertaining. But sometimes we sing to God; sometimes we sing declarations to our circumstances. In my church here, the singers lead us into battle, reminding me of Jehoshaphat's army the time it was led by musicians and singers. *

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A gigantic army is facing Jehoshaphat and the Israelites. He calls all of Judah together to fast and pray and call on God. "God, you gave us this land because you wanted to. We've built you a temple where we can assemble when we're in dire need; we'll wait on you here, asking for help, and you can save us.

"Oh, great God! You told us to spare these enemies long ago, but here they are, massed against us, and there's no way we can defeat them. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you."

All the frightened families of Judah were there, waiting. 

It's Jahaziel, distant grandson of the famed poet Asaph who speaks up, prophesying, "Listen up, everyone! The Lord says that we will not have to fight this enemy. We must go down to meet them tomorrow and take up our positions, but God will deliver us himself. Do not be afraid! Do not be discouraged! Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you."

The other singers in the Tribe of Levi start to praise God. It gets loud with the many voices, every other child has found a percussive instrument. Jehoshaphat falls down on his face, praising and worshiping the God of his deliverance. I bet they're up all night, praising God, believing and trying to believe in the words of Jahaziel; that is their one and only hope of surviving this encounter.

The next morning, instead of appointing snipers or scouts to surveil the area ahead of their army, Jehoshaphat puts the worship team at the front. The people of Judah sing and drum their way to the site of their enemies, thanking God, lifting up his name with great sound. While they do this, God is ambushing their enemies. God HIMSELF is AMBUSHING their enemies. How? Like, how? With great balls of fire? With fear so that they turn on themselves? How? I don't know. But GOD AMBUSHES all these other armies so that when Jehoshaphat and the worshipers of God crest the hill on the path that leads down into the desert gorge, there's nothing left to do but pick up the plunder of their enemies.

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*paraphrase of 2 Chronicles 20

Anxiety, Headache, Prayer

Two weeks ago, I had a persistent sinus headache. 

The worst thing about not feeling well is that it seems you have to face your pain while facing your anxiety about the future. Fear of the next few days, even the next few years, can plague me, hitting me when I'm down. On Thursday, as I was walking in sunlight that felt too bright for my sensitive eyes, I started to cry out to God in my inner whine. It slowly began to match my walking rhythm. It became this mantra. 

Thank you for this moment.

Thank you for my pounding head.

Thank you for the Beauty.

Thank you for what happens next.

I will not waste this moment by wishing it away just because I have a headache. There is beauty somewhere in it. And whatever happens next, God is still God there, too.