The worst thing about not feeling well is that it seems you have to face your pain while facing your anxiety about the future. Fear of the next few days, even the next few years, can plague me, hitting me when I'm down. On Thursday, as I was walking in sunlight that felt too bright for my sensitive eyes, I started to cry out to God in my inner whine. It slowly began to match my walking rhythm. It became this mantra.
Thank you for this moment.
Thank you for my pounding head.
Thank you for the Beauty.
Thank you for what happens next.
I will not waste this moment by wishing it away just because I have a headache. There is beauty somewhere in it. And whatever happens next, God is still God there, too.
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