Friends

The last six months have been Jake and me taking time to re-identify ourselves as married. It's time-consuming, getting used to that new identity. Time-consuming and wonderful; like Song of Songs, we have spent time talking to each other, admiring each other, knowing each other better and better! And, like in Song of Songs, we have had the approval and blessing of our friends.

Those little interludes where the friends say kind things, they're important to me. Our needs will change and shift outward again in due time, and the many thank you notes I write will be forgotten. But there is this overall sweetness to your blessing. I hope our union grows that care and affection. 

Lines for Some of You

Here are disembodied lines I'd like to tell some beloved people, none of whom are likely to ever read this. Though I'll tell you, the first one is for Jake.

"I love you more and more. I want that love to uproot the many fears I have, so I'm constantly entrusting you to Christ."

"I am not sure I ever knew the real you, but I miss you terribly."

"Please, please, put the phone down and talk to me."

"Thank you for the money."

"Are you okay? What do you want from me? I at least want to know, even if I can't do anything about it."

"Forgiving you for what you have done feels like admitting that what I knew about morality and good behavior was not applicable to you. But I also know the truth is ten times more complicated than the version in my head. So I re-forgive you, and ask myself the quarterly question: is it time to call?"