How I Grade and How I Think

(I began this piece last spring. It's true. I wasn't often working at an optimal mental level for the last three years.)

I was sitting in the park, admiring the stream, having just half-composed a poem about the leaves against the sky. I opened my grading folder, and started in. One paper later, I received a phone call from a friend, also a beginner teacher. "Hey, Carolyn. I'm calling to hear about your grading philosophy..." Hahaha! I couldn't have planned it better. Of course, while this conversation took place, highly gratifying, though it was, nary a paper was graded.
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Teachers: talk to each other about grading. What does an "A" mean to you? I would be willing to bet a lot of us are actually grading on effort over product most of the time. If you're not "in education," you might find it surprising how many books and classes center on this very issue.
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I wish I knew how to teach a works cited page and avoiding plagiarism, and to do it calmly. I wish I knew how to do anything calmly. To sit quietly and grade 22 papers fairly and consistently, and afterward to keep my head clear and just do a load of laundry and go to bed.

I wish I knew how to stop watching YouTube clips and move through the day. Why does Buzzfeed have to format their articles with lists and gifs? Lists are my favorite way of organizing my thoughts. My thoughts are like cats, sitting on sofas and tabletops, each prowling, playing, sleeping, and sunning as they have need. And lists are like herding these unlawful creatures into a straight line.