Reflections on Moving

What am I reading right now? The Shepherd's Castle by George MacDonald; The LMH staff Handbook; the Gospel of John.

My mom came to pick me up from camp on Sunday morning. I finally knew how all the campers felt when their parents picked them up each Saturday morning. Relief mingled with a feeling of somehow not being finished. They would longingly look back, waving, cherishing a vague feeling that camp was still going on, even with no campers.

We moved things from camp to the dorm, then from 409 (my former residence) to the dorm. It was a long day which culminated in a dinner with Brian and Lachelle, who inhabit the downstairs advisors' apartment. All the same, I went to bed with a dissatisfied, empty feeling in my stomach.

I can tell that as I go through changes in location and responsibilities, I am getting better at accepting them. But you must understand that I used to be really, really bad at accepting change. I mean, bad. If someone turned a figurine to the side in my room, I could sense it. Save your OCD jokes. I'm not diagnosed. The point is, I'm improving. And I like change. I feel alive and awake and scared all at once.

Everywhere I look, there's something I could buy to add to my apartment. One of my goals in life is to live simply. Sometimes that means forgetting that there is an easier way if I only had a ________, and making do with what I already have. Besides, I like to be somewhat dependent upon people around me for things. What kind of relationship can you build with people if neither of you need each other for anything?

I don't know. I'm going outside.